What the Hell?
by Wolf11
Summary: This is just a really stange and weird pile of bollux! I was bored so i wrote this OK! Enjoy!its also good for a laugh makes fun of my self mostly! 20 CHAPTERS! WUHOO YAAAAAY finnaly I hear you cry, or is that bugger off you loonatic?
1. Default Chapter

Hi, this is just going to be mindless rambling cos I am bored and I have read every book which I poses (which is a lot because my rooms nothing but books) and that there is nothing but CRAP on TV. Also I'm stark raving lunatic so bear with me.  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of Eoin Colfers characters all I own is Bob the cheese guy, Fat Basted, Chaos. And of coarse my self, Wolf.  
  
Sorry if this sucks.  
  
Note from Brother (really!): Wolf was dropped on the head as a child, please forgive the following tale.  
  
Wolf: O, thanks what a wonderful brother I have. So Bloody Well TRUTHFUL.  
  
Brother: You No It Bitch!!  
  
What the Hell?  
  
In unknown Forest  
  
Root: were are we, (spots Artemis Fowl II, standing two feet away wearing nothing but his boxers) Fowl I should have known!  
  
Artemis: (mind wiped) who are you? And how did I get hear? (looks Root up and down).  
  
Root: you know perfectly well who I am, y.(stops mid sentence because Holly hits him over the head).  
  
Foaly: thank you Holly, Julius old boy, don't you remember you mind wiped the kid 2 years ago.  
  
Holly: grown up a bit since then (Holly looks him up and down twice with a grin)!  
  
Foaly: well now that he's seen us his memories should come back about. NOW.  
  
Artemis; (suddenly falls to the floor clutching his head in pain) Ahhh.memories.. coming . back .must ..eat CHEESE.  
  
Holly; Cheese?  
  
Foaly: yes, slight mistake to the memory wiper, when they remember any thing they have a strange urge to eat cheese. (They all watch as Artemis slowly gets up spots Root then jumps on him, hands around his throughout)  
  
Artemis: you basted you took away my memories, die like the midget you are!  
  
Root: Help, he's killing me. F.. Foaly get the m.. m .. mud boy off(gasps between breaths as Foaly laughs like hell, and Holly checks her nails).  
  
Unknown voice: SILENCE! I HAVE BROUGHT YOU ALL HEAR FOR. (at that moment Artemis finds a thick piece of electrical cable by his foot, he grins and pulls out a pair of wire cutters from his boxers)|CLICK! A VEry imp.., Hay! Who cut my god- all-mighty voice? (A person in long black cloak comes out of the trees holding a mike).  
  
Everyone: who the heck are you?  
  
Unknown: names Wolf(looks at every one) and as you are not all hear yet I'll explain later (Chinx suddenly comes running in)  
  
Chinx: NOOOO, for once I actually had a chance of losing my virginity and I get transported into a forest. wearing nothing but green thong backwards (Holly shields eyes and screams in terror) and a huge pink pyramid for a hat! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Roots slaps Chinx hard and hands him his jacket suppressing a laugh.)  
  
Holly: is that every one now?  
  
Wolf: no. and Artemis can you please stop fantasising about Holly.  
  
Artemis:(drops wrire cutters as his was putting them bak in his boxsers) what! I, I wasn't, how did you.( Artemis starts to look sheepish)  
  
Wolf: I am all powerful and I can read your minds.  
  
Holly:(looking aroused) really you. I mean( looks at Foaly and Root) how descusting.  
  
Foaly: if you can really read minds then ( at that moment Butlar comes though the trees)  
  
Butler: Artemis were the hell have you been and how did I get here? ( looks aroud sees Fairies then falls to the floor cluching his head and starts yelling for BLUE CHEESE)  
  
Wolf: well now that every one who dosen't know my evil plot is here I. Hey, Root I didn't Know you were GAY.  
  
Root: what I'm not, I'm really NOT.(turning redder usual)  
  
Wolf: (falls to the floor in laughter) god I know your not, no-one as uptight as you could be, that's why you're a VIRGIN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..  
  
Root: (face in hands) its true it's horribly true!  
  
Wolf: weight a minit( smiling evily) all fairies in the LEP are virgins!  
  
Foaly: I'm not cos I'm a centur, any way after there first 100 years in the force... Root you've been in the force for 200 years why haven't you been laid  
  
Root: (hands over face sobbing) I just haven't found the right person yet.  
  
Artemis: (whispers to Holly) are you?  
  
Holly: (turning red) offers not!( Artemis shrugs disappointedly and goes to the recovering Butler)  
  
Wolf: (whispers to Holly) don't lie next time, I won't stay quiet.  
  
OK I hoped you liked it, it's only the first chapter. Any way can one of you please tell my bloody brother to stop looking over my shoulder!!! Nex. * brother strangling me !!  
  
Brother: Hey I helped you write some of this tale.!!!!!!  
  
Ok now that, that's been said the Next chapter will be coming soon. My brother is already threatening me to start it. 


	2. Chaos and Cheese

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Eion Colfer's characters only Bob cheese guy, Fat basted Chaos, and me. Please review so I can have another reason for writing this other than, I'm bored.  
  
Chaos And Cheese  
  
Foaly: you still haven't tolled us why you have brought us here?  
  
Wolf: (sitting on tree stump reading book, looks at Foaly) Oh yeah after the Virgin thing I totally forgot.  
  
Artemis: (looking cureus) what are you reading?  
  
Wolf: Tamora Piece Street Magic, its hilarios.(hands book to Arty)  
  
Artemis:HILARIOS! Some one juyst got killed!  
  
Wolf: I have a morbed sence of humor.  
  
(suddenly a yellow fairy bust from the trees)  
  
Bob C,G: Boss!(runs staight at Wolf) Boss please ,please I need more cheese. I cant live without it.  
  
Root: Bobleknob? Is that you, I thought you were killed by that troll you kept as a pet.  
  
Bob C,G: no, saddly Mr. Fluffy ran away and I was so upset that I ran away to the land above and became obsesed by Cheese!  
  
Holly: why cheese, why is every one obsesed with CHEESE?  
  
Foaly: do you think we could get back to the mad guy telling us why the hell we are here.  
  
(Suddenly Massive and very LOUD Explosion rocks the clearing)  
  
(Out Steps a sinister 8 foot tall shadowy humanoid with glowing red eyes)  
  
Unknown: Ha Ha Ha, all bow before the all Mighty CHAOS!!!!!  
  
Wolf: SHUT UP Brother, why do you always ruin my ideas and plans, YOU STUPID FREAK.  
  
All: BROTHER?  
  
Wolf: (sigh) Yes he's an arse, but he's my brother. Why are you here anywhay?  
  
Chaos: I was bored fighting eight limbed demons spawned from the arse of SATAN!!!!! All: ???????!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: Why are you all listening to this short little moron, I have ten times the power of Wolf!!  
  
Artemis: (quickly thinking) Prove It!  
  
Chaos: I know you what your thinking, your sceme to make Wolf and I kill our selves won't work you little bastard.  
  
Chinx: We've already seen Wolf read minds, HA HA HA!  
  
Chaos: YOU FOOL TAKE THIS!!!!!  
  
(Black energy shoots from Chaos's eyes and surrounds Chinx) ( Smoke clears and Chinx is left wearing a Pink TU TU)  
  
Chinx: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, wait does this make me look fat(grinning).  
  
ALL: Laugh (encluding Chaos but not Wolf).  
  
Wolf: Why don't you use some real advanced magic I think the little twerp deserves it(snigers evily).  
  
Holly: I thought you hated each other?  
  
Wolf: No we just like confussing you!  
  
All: Huh???  
  
Chaos: We also enjoy testing our skills on those who annoy us!  
  
Wolf: I will make Roots worst nightmare become a reality! HA HA HA!  
  
(The being opens its mouth and Blue energy rushes out of it surrounding the unfortunet Root)  
  
(Smoke clears)  
  
All: Gasp (Bar Wolf Root and Chaos)  
  
Root: What? Whats wrong? I feel fine!  
  
Holly: you, you you're a MUD MAN, a verr large mud man!!  
  
Root: (falls to the floor)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wolf: OK OK shut up I'll tern you back( cliks fingers and root terns back to nomal)  
  
Chaos: my turn! Take this you silly horse with a man glued on! (Chaos produces a small red energy ball between his index finger and his thumb and throws it at Foaly. As the ball lands at Foarlys feet a small thermonuclear explosion surounds him!)  
  
(Smoke clears)  
  
Butler and Artemis Together: What did you do he's the same!  
  
Choas: (laughs out loud) Foaly, what is the main function of a dicsonvalucler rehducgup generator when attached to a fluberyuacjer?  
  
Foaly: I,IIIIIIIIIII don't know, what have you done?  
  
Wolf: He lowerd your IQ by 300, you are now of average intelligence.  
  
Foaly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO You Can't do this to me!  
  
Wolf: how dose it feel to be stupid?(Foaly sobs loudly tears coming down like a waterfall ) Change him back, change him back its starting to floud!  
  
Choas: help I cant swim!  
  
Well that's the second chapter and just so you Know Chaos is actualy my brother in real life and helped to costruct this chapter, which I hope you will enjoy. By the way some things may seem mis-spelt because we are both English. And our spell cheacher broke down.  
  
Thank you Kelaal for my first review and for being honest about my god awful spelling. Please continue to read my work.  
  
THANK YOU!! 


	3. Writers Block

I'm back and I'm still bored. I just want to point out that my brother dose exist and he is standing over me eating salami which I must say STINKS. Slime Frog: thanks for the reviews, from now on CHINX shall be spelt CHIX.  
  
Disclaimer: blar, blar you know the fucking drill so I wont repeat it again . 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
This chapter has no tittle as I am currently having a writers block!  
  
(The water has gone, to were I don't Know and how a forest clearing can fill up is beyond me so please don't flame me, and Chaos is on the ground with wolf kneeling over him with his hands glowing with electrical power)  
  
Wolf: (puts glowing hands on Chaos's chest) CLEAR!!,(Chaos is still not breathing) CLEAR!! OH DAME YOU, IF YOU DIE OUR PARENTS WILL KILL ME!  
  
Foaly: (lifts up part of Chaos's cloak) does he even have any thing under this? Bloody Hell what is this, its huge!  
  
Chaos:(suddenly sits up right) hay! Get you hand of that.  
  
Foaly: (Delving into Chaos's robe) What the hells this, its Massive!  
  
(Foaly pulls Harder and out pops a huge 2-foot long..)  
  
Chaos: Salami! It's my LUNCH! Give it back now you arse!!!!  
  
Foaly: OK, OK, what are these (pulls out his nuts)  
  
Chaos: There Brazil Nuts, do you want one?  
  
Foaly: Ohhh! I love Brazil Nuts!  
  
Wolf: I thought you were dead I put over 1000 volts through you.  
  
Chaos: ( crunching on his nuts) you forget, I'm wearing rubber pant so all the electricity is absorbed.  
  
Artemis, Holly: why are you wearing rubber pants?  
  
Chaos: there a specially made kind of leather very expensive.  
  
Wolf: no they are not, there just a cheap pear of fake leather pants which you got from the 50p shop.  
  
Chaos: oh thanks a lot, what do you except with the scant amount we get.  
  
Wolf: then why don't you get a job.  
  
Chaos: oh like that paper round you had. Wolf: look if they kept that dog away from me I wouldn't have blown it up Ok. God come on it was a hug MONSTER.  
  
Chaos: It was a 25 year old, 6 inch long, shaved Chihuahua. It also had a limp!!!  
  
Wolf: that was years ago so DROP IT(Wolf starts to glow red. Every one except Chaos back away)  
  
Chaos: yeah, years, don't you mean last MONTH  
  
Wolf: lets just get back to making there nightmares come true. Any way its my turn (turns evilly to Artemis) Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!  
  
OK short I know but I need to try and think of something evil to do to Arty. AHHHHH WRITERS BLOCK *starts hitting head against computer screen. Please review.  
  
Oh thanks to the 4 people who have read the last two chapters . 


	4. GETTING ON WITH THE STORY

wolf sitting in front of computer singing Jeepers Creepers, were did you get those peepers, *realises the words are coming up on screen* ,AHH, sorry I've just been watching the move and now I cant get it out of my head.  
  
Nicole: how can you say my story is perverted ? is it just because I write the word Virgin. Holly B: thanks. I will be writing a lot more cos all my friends are off with one of their divorced parents.  
  
Slime frog: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a fan!!(  
  
I'm not going to bother with a Disclaimer OK. 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
Wolf:( Still laughing evilly) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
  
Chaos: uh..Wolf do you think you can stop the laughing and get on with the nightmare?  
  
Wolf: yeah, sorry about that  
  
Artemis: excuse me, but do you think I could have some cloths first I'm starting to get a bit chilly in just my boxers.  
  
Holly:( mutters) you look fine to me.  
  
Wolf: (Wolf looks at Holly then gets a good idea) sure Artemis, just stand still for a moment.( wolf points at Arty and then blue smoke surrounds him and Holly) (Smoke clears) A/N : just so you know this isn't Artys worst nightmare  
  
All: WHAT THE HELL???!!!  
  
Holly:(looks down at herself seeing that she is wearing not her LEP uniform but Artemis's boxers which are so large on her they come up to her shoulders) AHHHH!!!  
  
Artemis: (know wearing Holly's uniform which is way to tight) help cant breath.  
(Butler starts ripping at the uniform so Artemis could breath) Artemis: Ok I really don't think I am any better off from before(Artemis clutched to the remaining bit of LEP uniform around his thighs)  
  
Butler: (towering over the non-frightened Wolf, trying to look menacing) give him his cloths or..  
  
Wolf: or face the consequences, I know, I know, cant you people ever be original. Any way, to tell the truth, I really have no desire to look at Arty's pale, skinny lanky body!!! (Clicks fingers, thick black smoke surrounds Holly and Artemis)  
  
(Smoke clears, Holly is left wearing a new LEP suit, and Artemis is now wearing a stylish GUCCI suit)  
  
Root: wow! For a lunatic you defiantly have taste.(eyeing Arty's suit)  
  
Wolf: you know with me always in this dark evil guy get up that is the first time any one has ever said that,(suddenly hugs root, now the colour of a tomato and sobs) thank you so much!!  
  
(Chaos clears throught)  
  
Wolf: er. yeah sorry about that er. emotional moment. Well, Artemis as you are now properly clothed can I please make your worst nightmare come true?(smile evilly)  
  
Artemis: WHAT? You mean the whole cloths changing weren't the nightmare?  
  
Chaos: if it was a nightmare then would my sibling give you the designer suit? Wolf do you think you can get on with it.  
  
Wolf: Frankly I can't think of any thing to do to Arty, so I am just going to drop him from 100,000 feet in the air( waves to Artemis) Have FUN!!!  
  
Arty: What no, no I a... (Arty suddenly disappears)  
  
(100,000 up in the air Arty re-materialises and plummets downwards at an exceedingly fast pace!!!)  
  
Artemis: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(deep breath) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (deep breath) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (deep breath) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
  
(An inch from the ground Arty stops falling and hangs there still screaming loudly)  
  
Arty: Stop! Stop! Put me down please!!  
  
Chaos: Come on I think he scared enough!!  
  
Wolf: OK  
  
(Arty drops to the ground with a thud!)  
  
Arty: Oweeeeeeeee!  
  
Foaly: Did you say Oweeee?  
  
4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 sorry but I have to go now I'm going to camp tomorrow and I have to back  
  
by the way, Chaos will be taking over for me while I'm off terrifying the other people at camp (smiles evilly, again) I just want to apologise in advance.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	5. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE WITH CHEESE

Chaos: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! WITH Wolf at camp I now rule the story and soon the WORLD!!! PREPARE FOR UTTER CHAOS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Chaos gets waked over the head with a tent pole, and falls from the computer chair)  
  
Chaos: what the???!!!  
  
Wolf: I'M BAAAACK!! (wolf grins the usual evil grins and leans on the tent pole he used to hit Chaos.) did you miss me.  
  
Chaos:(rubbing his sore head) hay! Why the hell are you back so early. You had at least a week.  
  
Wolf: got cancelled, no other 'happy' campers left other than me.  
  
Chaos: they left?  
  
Wolf: no, I got hungry and had a little *BBQ*, thanks for letting me borrow your flame-thrower. Hay, I got you something (tossed Chaos a mug with the words *brother* in large letters around it and a little bit of writing on the bottom)  
  
Chaos:(read )Brother, friend, and tormentor, cool! I'm I really your tormentor.(pulls hot tongs from the fire place)  
  
Wolf:(sits down on computer chair) not really, it was other that or a bouncy egg.  
  
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
Lets Get Ready 2 Rumble!(with CHEESE)  
  
Foaly: can we go yet?! haven't you two insane-asylum-runaways tormented use enough( rethinks what he just said) actually why don't you torment Beet Root a bit more maybe you could frighten a bit of fat off him!  
  
Root: (steam coming off his face) you weight pony boy when we get back I am going to sheer you like a sheep!  
  
Artemis: a coat made of centaur fur. Hay Julius, when you've sheered Foaly can I have the fur? Mother just loves the fur of endangered creatures.  
  
Foaly: but I'm not endangered!  
  
Wolf+Chaos:(unison) it could be arranged.  
  
Artemis: well not endangered, but how many centaurs do you see every day.  
  
Foaly: well.(calculating) when I have a family reunion about 486.  
  
Artemis: above ground horse arse. (A/N: This has absolute nothing to do with the story OK all I want to say is any one a fan of the soap opera, Neighbours? If so prepare for all those idiotic characters to die, they are driving me crazy!! Why the hell dose the Queen of Demons/my mum, like that crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Wolf picks up chair and through it at the TV* thanks for bearing with my absolute loathing of all Soaps) (  
  
Butlar: hay Wolf who were you talking too?  
  
Wolf: all those deranged people who have been kind enough to read this strange random plot of mine.  
  
Chaos: And mine aswell!! Any way its now my turn to reack havok. (turns to Butler)Now lets see, what is a gient sized human fear? Hmmmm(Chaos thinks)  
  
Wolf: that's a change.  
  
Chaos: Ha! I know (cliks his fingeres and smoke encloses the whole forest)  
  
(suddenly large spot lights turn on and every one find then selves in the front row seats in a wreserling arena serounded by chearing fans)  
  
Chix: who are all thease people?  
  
Wolf: condemed soles from hell, their on their lunch break.  
  
Artemis: and why the hell are we hear? Butlers not afraid of wreserling he loves it, don't you Butler..(looks around) Butler.., were'd he go? (artemis starts to panick without his bodygard)  
  
(suddenly all the lights tern off exsept the ones shining on the weserling ring. In the senter of the ring is Chaos dressed as a reff)  
  
Chaos:(very loudly) Ladys and gentlmen, elves and elfetts, horse man.Welcom to the mach of the season!!! In the blue corner the man who was shot in the chest and lived the giant who beat a whole LEP unit single handed."  
  
Root: (rubs his face) don't remind me.  
  
Chaos: the body gard who never fails, BUTLER!!!!! (spotlight shins on Butler in the left corner of the ring dressed in a leartard desind to look like a butler suit)  
  
All: YA, GO BUTLER WOOO, CHEAR!!!!!  
  
Bob CG: YA GO BLUE CHEESE WOO... (cut mid chear as holly hits him over the head with a rubber chickin with a brick in it)  
  
Chaos: (still very loudly) and in the red coner! Weighing in at close to three metric tons, the king sag, the man who spent eight months in an all you can eat just so he could get his moneys worth,and that was a whole $5.00,..FAT BASTERD!!!! ( spotlight shins on the most fatest man you'll ever see, he had about ten chins, flub hanging from his arms and legs, 20 rolls of fat and all he wore was a kilt)  
  
All: (exsept Artemis and co') Fat Basterd, Go, Go, Fat Basterd!!  
  
Bob CG: Blue Cheese, Go, Go. (holly hit him over the head with a real chickin who ate a brick)  
  
Butler: ( suddenld shaking with fear) not not ,fat Basterd! the one who use to, to beat me up at school a and take my lunch money.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
(while reading the next line please attempt a scottish accent, it makes it sound funnier.)  
  
Fat B: Eye, tis me ittle Domy come over ear and I'll eat ya like a baby ( with each word butler shakes even more)  
  
Chaos: the rules are there are no rules do what ever you want to each other!  
  
Butler: no please no.....  
  
Chaos: LLLLETS GGGGET RREADDY TO RRRRRUUUMBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Butler runs to the edge of the area..  
  
Butler: Please NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not him any one but him!  
  
Artemis: You can beat anyone, get a hold of yourself!!!!!!!!  
  
Fat B: Domy, ittle Domy come ovea ear, an I'l tie ya innou a knot. Oooo A ink I feel a fart cominga on, orrrrh it as gona be'a right smelly!!!  
  
FWARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT  
  
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT  
  
All exept Fat B: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, make it stop, we can't breath!!!!!!!!!! ( all pass out exsept Fat B)  
  
Fat B: Eye come on ita weren't at bad ya wimps ya sissy, ya, I a could eata you all fa breakfeast.  
  
(Disgusted Fat Basterd stomps out of the arena in to forest)  
  
Fat B: Ohh looke tis a wee squirrel, ohhhhhhh I coulda really go for a squirril right now!! Cama er ya ittle rodent iama gona eata ya.  
  
(Fat B waddles off after the a terrified squirril)  
  
(2 hours later Wolf,Chaos, Artemis and co wake up to find themselves back in the forest)  
  
Chaos: that was unexpected.  
  
Holly: Unespected! We were almost choched to death and all you say is that it was unexpected!  
  
Wolf: well it was, me and Chaos can usaly withstand the most exsteam, like swimming in lava, breathing under water, flying, living with out oxygen; it seams the one thing we cant deal with is the magnechude of that fat gits fart.  
  
666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666  
  
finaly you now how long this took me!! First I had to go to camp then a week arfter that we had to pack up all of the crap we own (mum never throughs any thing away) and move to a house serounded by posh gits. You Know how I hate posh gits. Also why are most packers so thick, I may as well go back in time and get a bunch of cave men, at least you could probaly understand them. Also one of them packed the cluster bomb ontop of my Mk. 84 bomb collection! How stupid is that when I told him to put it in with the C4 and Semtex!!!  
  
Well any way this chapter is done and the next one will be up shorly PLEASE PLEASE REVEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
For the one who asked for more blue cheese; ARE YOU HAPPY!!! 


	6. Tiger

Hello guess what? MY BEST FRIEND GONA HELP WITH STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( along with Chaos) I know with me being all evil you thought I had no friends but she is as insane as I and she is a fucking boffin so there wont be as many spelling mistakes  
  
THANKS FOR REVIEWS!! I LOVE YOU SLIME FROG AND YES I DID TAKE FAT B FROM AUSTIN POWERS  
  
(FIRE THE FRICKIN "LASER") 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999  
  
Tiger  
  
Root: get me out of here!!!!! I've been choked, drowned and turned into a MUD MAN.  
  
Chaos: you have also been burnt.  
  
Root: no I haven't.  
  
Wolf: you have now ( wolf throws a ball of fire at root. Root starts running around in circles)  
  
Root: MY BUTT!!.MY BUTT!!. MY BUTT IS ON FIRE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( every one bursts into laughter no one helps Root)  
  
another unknown voice: You're doing it all WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: who the hell is that???!!!!  
  
(a distorted figure emerges from the bushes)  
  
Thing: Oh CRAP! I left on my Halloween makeup!! (rubs off make up) Without it I am the most beautiful natures-goddess!!!!!  
  
Wolf: yeah, beautiful goddess from hags hill (every one snorts with laughter) Hi tiger what the hell took you so long.  
  
Tiger: well, the traffic was awful on the A27... I've only got a corsa! You're lucky, you can materialise money out of thin air!  
  
Artemis: you can! ( looks at eagerly at wolf) how about you be my business partner.  
  
Wolf: (ignoring Arty) making money is fine but mums got a restriction on that damn Power, and anyway I got on my Harly V-Rod and I wasn't late.  
  
Chaos: you weren't late because you started this whole damn thing!  
  
Tiger: You should keep an eye on fire... Look at old fire-arse over there! (Root is still on fire screaming, and nobody cares)  
  
Butler: Root can you shut up your giving me head ache!!  
  
Root: I'M ON FIRE!!!! MY BUTT HAS BLOODY MELTED!!  
  
Tiger : Oh shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tiger fires water at Root, who sighs in gratitude)Anyway, as I said before, you were killing him all wrong. You should bury him alive, then he gives nature what nature gave to him.  
  
Chix: what is it with you and nature(eyes her up and down) why don't you and I go out some time sweet thing.  
  
Tiger: (looks down evilly at Chix) Virgins should die.eat shit!!!! (a large pile of shit appears in the sky and Chix is surrounded in crap) You dare insult NATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!  
  
Foaly: I see you are a bit touchy about that subject.  
  
Chaos: Gorgonzola pie with roast centaur , urm good!!!! You fucking twats why don't you all just ram your heads up each others arses and sing "I like big butts".  
  
(Chaos stops off in a huff!!!)  
  
Artemis: (to wolf) what's wrong with him?  
  
Wolf: he's only had 2 lines in this chapter and he's really pissed off. (every one shrugs)  
  
ALL: (SINGING) "I like big butts and I cannot lie,  
  
You other bro's can't deny,  
  
When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist,  
  
And a round thing in your face,  
  
You get SPRUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111  
  
My god we need to calm down any way my friends leaving now and I bored.What do you think of my one and only friend soon to be shot wit a bb gun by chaos  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
EAT CHEESE!  
A FINAL WORD FROM OUR SPONSERS AT THIS CHEESE SMELLS LIKE SHIT.COM  
  
Goodbye from Tiger.(P.S. please contact me if you know anything about WICCA, DRUIDS or CHEESE) (P.S.S. All Tony Blair luvers, I will let Tony  
Blair fuck you with a rubber chicken sideways 


	7. pissed off!

I AM BORED!!!! And I go back to school tomorrow! Well I might not be so bored then but still SCHOOL and Tiger my best mate she's gone and moved to another school. What the hell I'm I to do in class and how the hell am I to survive in French! The only way I got to the top class in French is by copying her answers! Sorry I'm really pissed off, Oh and my favourite teachers leaving he was the only one with a sense of humour.  
  
Chaos: SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!! I HAVE TO GO TO BLOODY COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!  
  
777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777  
  
Pissed Off !  
  
Bob CG: Cheese I NEED CHEESE!!(flings himself at Wolf) please boss give me cheese!  
  
Wolf: OK, OK, here( throws large wedge of cheese to Bob) Knock you self out.  
  
Bob: (cuddling the cheese) yes boss (runs head first at a tree literally knocking himself out)  
  
Holly: takes things seriously don't he?  
  
Chaos: only what Wolf tells him, all because he gives him cheese.  
  
Foaly: (disappointedly) your back.  
  
Chaos: yeah why else would any one read this stuff with out me?  
  
Artemis: because I'm here.  
  
All: What???!!!  
  
Artemis: well the main web site it about me isn't so with out me this story wouldn't exists.  
  
Wolf: NO,( shouting as a small grey squirrel runs by) with out ME this story wouldn't exists cos. I created this whole seen, this whole plot!!  
  
(Argument is cut short but a sudden, large thing emerging from the forest)  
  
Fat B: oh com on ya ittle rodent me legs won't a go at fast. Ou need too slow down so a can eat ya!  
  
Butler: AHHHHHHH(faints on top of Arty in fear)  
  
Artemis: HELP! I'm being crushed.  
  
Wolf: hay it's the fat git who knocked us out! Fat B: (just noticing all the other people in the clearing and forgets about the squirrel) Ay oo are ou? ( sees the fairies) ittle children are bigger than squirrels, come ter daddy ittly kiddys and get in me belly! ( fat Basted waddled towards Holly)  
  
Artemis:NOOOOOOOOOO( some how with a sudden bust of strength Artemis gets out from under Butler and pushes holly out of the way gust as Fat B makes a grab for her. Fat Basted grabs Arty and sticks his head into his mouth thinking him to be Holly)  
  
Holly: ARTEIMS ( runs at fat B to try and knock him over, just to bounce right of his flub)  
  
Foaly: KICK THE GIT IN THE NUTS!!!  
  
Holly: (really pissed off dose more than kick him in the nuts she gets out her gun puts it on kill and fry's them) SPIT HIM OUT!  
  
Fat B: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ME DICK OU BURNT ME DICK OFF  
  
(Artemis fall from his grip head and shoulders covered in spit and saliva)  
  
Artemis: oh gross! I'm going to have nightmares for weeks about that twats decaying molars and Septic Breath!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wolf: (to Chaos) brother?  
  
Chaos: yes?  
  
Wolf: you thinking what I'm thing  
  
Chaos:(reads wolf's mind and smiles) now I am, on 3?  
  
Wolf: shur, 1.  
  
Chaos:.2.  
  
Together: 3!!!!(both Wolf and Chaos shot black smoke ant the deranged Fat Basted)  
  
(smoke clears all gasp Fat Basted was no longer fat no longer male ether. Fat basted had been turned into a skiny little blond girl called Mary-Sue)  
  
Mary-Sue: MY FAT MY WONDERFUL FAT. AND I'M A GIRL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Mary-sue, formaly fat basted runs into forest crying like a little baby) (A/N: just so you know I hat all Mary-sue's they get on my nerve they all should DIE!) 222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222  
  
sorry I know that was short but I have to get ready for school. yep even evil geniuses have to study  
  
Wolf starts to singing breaking the habit by Linkin Park  
  
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR OR WHY I HAVE TO SCREAM"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW WHY I INSTIGATE AND SAY THINGS I DON'T MEAN"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT THIS WAY I KNOW ITS NOT ALL RIGHT"  
  
"SO I'M BBBBRRRREAKING THE HHHHBBBIT,"  
  
"I'M BBBBRRRAKING THE HHHHBBBIT,"  
  
"TONIGHT!"  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. Food!

God I hate school! Its so boring and why my school starts the first day of school on a Friday is beyond me. Sigh I was hoping the people at school would have got more brain cells over the holiday but that was only a cruel dream, THERE ALL STILL AS THICK AS BRICKS COVERED IN 2 METERS OF IRON AND A GALLON OF SYRUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh well now I know what Artemis fells like 888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
I cant think of a title ok. I'm trying to write a page every day till I get bored of this story.  
  
Artemis: Butler?.(shaking butler who was still in a faint) wake up Butler.(Artemis thinks of something) AHHHHHHHHH HELP I'M BEING SHOT AT!!!!!!! (Butler fly's to his feet)  
  
Butler: ARTEMIS! I'LL Save.(looks around) you?(starts to wonder why every one including Arty are laughing at him)  
  
Artemis: sorry Dom how else was I to get you up?  
  
Butler; (feeling very imbarest for fainting) an alarm clock would have worked.  
  
Holly: I am hungry.  
  
Root: so am I  
  
Artemis: all I have had is dinner  
  
Root: but your dinner could probably feed an army! Not all of us are rich Fowl!!  
  
Artemis: actually all I had was a tuna sandwich the chef got sick  
  
(A/N I know butler can cook and all I just couldn't be bothered. don't flame me)  
  
Chaos: (to the person who is reading this) Any reference in the following lines referring to famous fast food restaurant is highly irrelevant and does not mean that we are trying to promote anything so all you fuckers can go bugger you selves sideways so there!!!!  
  
Foaly: can you two stop talking to your selves! Any way what do you 2 demons eat dragons, worms, and dead souls. Fat people, small rodents,.(looks at Root) BEET ROOTS.  
  
Chaos: No, actually we enjoy such things as the pancreases of a small child, jellied eyes, scabs, puss. you know the normal stuff.  
  
Wolf: Do Not forget the spleens of the over 50's!  
  
(All begin to throw-up. Ten minutes or gut wrenching mucus later.)  
  
Chix: REALLY!  
  
Chaos: NO OF COURSE NOT YOU DAMN VIRGIN!!!!! We usually just go to Burger King.  
  
Wolf: Pizza OK?  
  
Artemis: YEAH!!!!  
  
(wolf pulls mobile phone from cloak and throws it to Chaos who punches in several numbers)  
  
Chaos:(Ring...ring.ring.they pick up) Hi Dave. Yeah its me. the 10 of the usual.got guests. yeah the forest.ok. yeah.uh hu...next week then. ok ...bye love ya.  
  
(every one looks strangely at Chaos)  
  
Chaos: what?  
  
Foaly: Dave. love ya?  
  
Chaos: hu. oh you think.I'M NOT GAY!! Dave's a girl she works at the pizza take-away near here. I went out with her two years age but were still good friends. Look she fixes my car and Dave is what her dad would have called her if she was a boy and Rosy-Jane is not a name that suits her so SHUT UP OR I'LL BURN YOU"!!!! AND I'M NOT GAY!!  
  
Wolf: he was gay once but that lasted for thirteen seconds. (grins evilly) or so he said. (Chaos starts to smoke)  
  
Chaos: THAT DOSE IT!!!(Chaos sets a nuclear explosion around Wolf)  
  
All:(but wolf and chaos) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Wolf gets propelled 10 meters in the air and lands with a thud)  
  
Wolf: (calmly brushing dust from robes) you know that doesn't work Chaos but then again neither dose this(large bolder lands on Chaos) (Chaos reappears next to bolder rubbing his head)  
  
Chaos:(glowing red)YOUR GOING DOWN!(large army suddenly appears behind Chaos)  
  
Wolf: BRING IT ON (army as equaly as large behind Wolf)  
  
Wolf+Chaos: CHARGE!  
  
Lord white wolf: PIZZA!!  
  
(Armies disappear in a cold of smoke)  
  
Chaos: shake on it, friends?(gives wolf his hand)  
  
Wolf: friends (they shake hands)  
  
Butler: god it would be good if the war on Iraq could be settled so easily as that.  
  
Lord white wolf: Hi I am the delivery guy you ordered 10 pizzas right?  
  
Wolf: yeah thanks.(takes pizzas)  
  
Lord white wolf: hay what about the money.  
  
Wolf: Oh isn't your life to much(smiles evilly as a ball a flames starts to grow in wolfs hand)  
  
Lord white wolf: no that'll be fine see yeah (runs back into forest)  
  
Foaly: What's the usually?  
  
Wolf: Oh you know the usually... Snails, slugs, vomit, what's left from the a septic tank and errrr, oh yeah what ever they can dig up from the crematory  
  
(ALL BEGIN TO PUKE AGAIN)  
  
Chaos: Stop! IT'S A JOKE YOU TWATS!!! The usual is cheese and pepperoni.  
  
All: Ohhhh. FOOD!!!  
  
000101000000000101110111000000110110101010101111111110111111111010000  
  
so what do you think good, crap, just some strange pile of Bollix  
  
Lord white wolf you asked to be in the story there you go Happy, Pissed off?  
  
Why I'm I giving alternative answers to every thing, cos I'm strange, demented , totally INSANE I DON'T KNOW  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	9. Manners

DESTROY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry bad day. Already got home work and I have one of my least favourite lessons to day Drama. I know most people love acting, but when it comes to standing infront of a class and having to act, well I other take the roll of the insane person or the evil guy, and also my teacher hates me or I hate her mostly because she draged me infront of the head teacher and HUGGED me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All because what a good techy (technician) I am. (At my school a group of kids who are called "techys" do all the electronics for school events) any way I had to take over for one of the older guys who was doing sound, and I did it better than him.  
  
Chaos: STOP BLABBING ON ABOUT SCHOOL THEY DON'T GIVE'S A SHIT OF YOUR EMBARRASSING TEACHERS JUST WRITE THE FUCKING STOREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Manners  
  
All: FOOD!!! (Everyone crowds round the pizzas like crazed animals)  
  
Chaos; you haven't been here that long only a few days.  
  
Foaly: (sarcastically) Oh oly 'a few ays?! (Trying to talk around the slice of pizza he just shoved into his mouth) whyy no a couple o eeks or even a moth!!  
  
Butler:(horrified at the site of the half massacred food rolling around in Foaly's open mouth) God! Don't fairies have any manners??!!  
  
Holly: fairies do, centaurs don't (for that Foaly decided to kick her with one of his rear hooves sending her right into a tree)  
  
Chix: (looking hopefully at the dazed Holly) what hurts? want me to kiss and make it better?  
  
Holly: trying to make her eyes focus) kiss this you perverted pixy! ( Holly punches him square on the nose) and you(she turns to foaly) take this(she throws her slice of pizza at foaly hitting him right on the face) Artemis starts to laugh and Foaly slams a slice right into artys face. After that it turned into a huge pizza fight!!!!)  
  
Holly: EAT PIZZA BEET ROOT!  
  
Root: SHORT!!! Hand me some pizza I have a mud boy to pizza!!!  
  
Arty : NOT IF YOUR PIZZAED FIRST  
  
Butler: TAKE THIS ARTY!  
  
Artemis: HAY!  
  
Foaly: SPECIAL DELIVERY JULIUS!!!  
  
Root: DON'T CALL ME JULIUS!  
  
Chix: I DON'T LIKE PEPPERONI AND CHEESE!  
  
Bob CG: CHEESE, CHEESE, CHE.(once again runs read first into tree)  
  
(Wolf and Chaos standing at the edge of the pizza war eating their pizza as though they usually watched 2 humans, 3 fairies and a centaur, cover themselves in pizza source and pepperoni)  
  
Chaos: and people call us animals  
  
Wolf: no, they call us monsters. Or demons, depends on what religion the people are  
  
Chaos: Mormons don't call us monster or demons.  
  
Wolf: mostly because they're piss there pants and run away screaming in fear before they can say anything , why do you hate them so much?  
  
Chaos: they just annoy me a lot.  
  
Wolf: want to end the fight?  
  
Chaos: Ok (suddenly a giant sized pizza falls from the sky on to the war below covering every one ,except wolf and chaos, from head to toe in pizza)  
  
Wolf: (grinning evilly) well, now that you have had your pizza how about some ice cream? ( about a 2 tones of cheese ice cream falls apone Arty and co'. leaving them shivering)  
  
Bob CG: I AM IN HEAVEN!!!  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
sorry its short but I have home work and other stuff  
  
lord white wolf: I really don't giva dam if you don't like being the pizza guy what else was I serpost to do with you!! God, I don't even know if you girl or boy I cant make you a bloody mane caricature can I!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Slime frog: you are brilliant why don't you e-mail me on werewolfblade@yahoo.co.uk your almost as nuts as I am  
  
PS amy one else can contact me too if you like  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	10. WHAT ARE U DOING!

Who wants to blow up school? or dissect all the bloody fucking prefects who give me a fucking detention for not tucking in my fucking shirt!!!!!! GOD, THEY REMIND ME OF DRACO MALFOY IN ORDER OF THE FUCKING PHOENIX!!! I don't know about you but do any prefects in other schools tell you to some thing then they do the other. Its just I'M late for class as it is and then these two slutty year 11 (16yrs) girls, ties down to there stomachs shirts out and chewing fucking bubble gum come waltzing up ordering me to this and to do that or they will give me a D(thanks to our principal's new bright idea for giving them that power). So in my usually way I tell them to go shove there heads up there ass and move out the way. AND I THEN HAD TO SPEND MY LUNCH TIME IN DETENTION!  
  
Hi its me Chaos, This is a true story!!  
  
I was once a prefect; I had my red trimming round my blazer and a nice black tie. But I never did my duty (stopping to many people from going into the lunch hall and I never kissed up to the fucking teacher). It probably didn't help that I told the woman in charge of the prefects that they were all fucking wankers or the fact that my head of house, Stuart, was a wanker and a Mormon, I took the piss out of his crappy religion and called him HITLER!! So they kicked me off after 5 months and I spent the rest of the year swearing at them and making fun of Stubby Pete (Stuart, that Mormon scum!!!!)  
  
Wolf: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU SAY I RAMBLE TOO MUCH ABOUT THAT GOD AWFUL SCHOOL!! sorry I will finally get on with the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999  
  
What???!!!!  
  
(Bob cheese guy at the far edge of the clearing rubbing his fat belly)  
  
Bob CG: I am going to burst but who in their right mind's would not eat 2 tones of dreamy, delicious cheese ice cream  
  
Holly: me I think I am going to be sick  
  
Artemis: I am going to be sick( runs to some bushes and starts to vomit all the pizza that had landed in his mouth)  
  
Chix: you know holly you look really sexy and delicious covered in pizza can I lick some off ?  
  
(Guess what? Yep you guessed right Chix is once again flying into yet another tree with the cartilage of his nose splintering right up in to his head (I would say into his brain 'if' he had one) and is now dead)  
  
ALL:( all sing) CEEEEEEELEBRATE GOOD TIMEs COME ON! DO, DO, DO, DO,...do, do, do, DOOO DOOOOOOO!!!! It's a celebration!!!!  
  
( Suddenly blue sparks start flying around Chix and every one realises he's not dead for his magic is repairing the damage)  
  
Root: D'Artiv for a second there I thought we were rid of him.  
  
Foaly: it was all but a cruel, cruel dream.  
  
(Holly now crying for the fact that she will never get rid of the sex mad perverted VIRGIN pixy)  
  
Chaos: (grinning evilly) Ya know I could take his magic away from him and you could hit him again if you want!!!!  
  
Foaly: No he's one of us, well sort of, anyway he'll probably die trying to save some pixie in distress or something!  
  
(Wolf walks up behind to Bob and pulls out a 2 inch needle) Wolf: Oi!! Bob time to go bye bye!  
  
(Everyone turns!)  
  
Bob: Huh!  
  
Wolf shoves the needle into bobs fat belly!  
  
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: That gets rid of one problem! (As bobs hits Mach 8 and heads off into a polar orbit!)  
  
Artemis: OK now that isn't technically possible but. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!  
  
Wolf: needle out of pocket, shove needle into Bob and BOOM! No more cheeses obsessed twat. God, and your supposed to be a genius.  
  
Artemis: (offended) I am, but that's not logical!  
  
Chaos: what are you, ya twat, a Vulcan?  
  
All: hu??!!  
  
Chaos: what??!! So I watch Star Trek!!  
  
(Arty eges over to Holly)  
  
Artemis: (whispers to Holly) when they let us go do you want to come back to my place. just for tea. or some thing (starts to get a bit of colour into his vampire face)  
  
Holly: (blushing) yeah OK.  
  
Wolf:(reading their minds and starts to singing softly) "Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near"( then ' because I don't know the rest of the song' starts to sing loudly) SEX BOMB, SEX BOMB, YOU'RE MY SEX BOMB YOU.... (chaos whacks wolf in the face to stop the god awful singing)  
  
Chaos: you know I wouldn't be surprised if someone hired you as a demolition service, that voice will knock down mountains!  
  
Wolf; (grinning) thank you.  
  
(foaly sees a fat cable hanging down from a tree wondering what would happen if it was cut he cut it with the wire cutters Arty had dropped in the first chapter,. Every thing goes Dark)  
  
Chix: AHHHHHN I'm afraid, holly hold me.  
  
Root: get off me! Who turned off the sun.  
  
Wolf: OK who's the twat who cut off the sun! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND CUTTING MY EQUIPMENT! Do you now how long that took me to set up!!  
  
Foaly: I think that was me.  
  
Wolf: you basterd, (tries to hit foay but as wolf cant see, hits Chaos)  
  
Chose: ow that hurt (tries to punch wolf but hits Butler) (turns into an unseen battle every one hitting blindly, so as its unseen I cant really describe it)  
  
Root: HAY THAT HURT.  
  
Foaly: LET GO OF MY TAIL!!  
  
Wolf: GET OFF MY CLOAK!  
  
Chaos: GET OFF ME!!  
  
(some how the sun flickers back on. Every one rubs their eyes and looks around. In shock all eyes fall on Artemis and Holly who, while every one was fighting in the dark, had sneaked to the corner and locked lips with each other, now trying to get each others clothe off)  
  
Chaos: when the cats away the mice will play,.. Or make out, ether way  
  
Root: SHORT!! ( they leap away like startled bunnies)  
  
Arty/ holly: AHHHHH what nooo no no nooo nada noo noooo we I mean er he she sa aurm, Oh shit!  
  
Chix: (crying his eyes out) waaaa! You broke my heart! What dose he have that I haven't  
  
Holly: (under her breath to Arty) Bigger EQUIPMENT for one thing.(arty grins)  
  
Foaly: Go Holly!(for some strange reason foaly starts dancing like a cheerleader "with four legs" repeating) Go Holly, Go Holly! Go.(root kicks him in the behind)  
  
Root: shut up! What the hell are you thinking! Making. I mean having. well doing what you are doing with that MUD BOY! (holly glows redder than Root)  
  
Butler: (Whispers to Arty) well done on your first kiss sir.  
  
Arty: that wasn't my first kiss.  
  
Butler: but I never see you with any one.  
  
Artemis: (smiling) why do you think I asked mother to send me to a mixed school!!!!  
  
2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222 2222222  
  
well hows that some people wished for them to get together..  
  
Chaos: why don't we let them bugger each other next time!!!!!!  
  
Why I'm I related to a pervert, can some one else give me some bewtter ideas for the next chapter.  
  
Chaos: good bye folks tune in next time for another exciting episode of CHEESE TREK ( origional star trek theme kicks in) Do do do do do do do do do dod do do( large klingon falls on Chaos)  
  
Chaos: arh help help get this bloddy Klingon off me, Kirk Kirk beam me up scotty you bloddy scottish wanker!!!!!!!! Where the haggis, now you arse!!!!!!!!  
  
And you said I cant sing. I better rap this up Chaos is getting over excited,...arh klingon .its.chewing.on .my..face arrhhhhhh, my god whats it doing to my leg..stop it Mr. WHORF!!!!!!!!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	11. BUNNIES

Chaos:(scared and rocking in a small ball) Are the kligons gone?. has Mr. Worf been beamed up? Dame you Scotty! I DOOOON'T HAVE THEEEEE POOOWER CAPTAIN, DILITIAM CYSTALS OVERLOADING!!!!!!  
  
Wolf: (slapping chaos) get a hold of you self! God! You really need to stop watching Star Trek.  
  
To Slime frog: yeah its fine to call me Mr. Wolf and thanks for the idea I might use it, I really don't know at this stage of this chapter I just write what comes to my head.  
  
Lutefa( did I spell that right) I am going to try and get you in the story ok.  
  
5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 5555555  
  
2 little bunnies!  
  
(Root still mad at Holly)  
  
Root: BY FRONDS NAME WHY? Why this mud boy? Why a mud man, cant you fall in love with some one your own specie?  
  
Holly: like who I am to fall in love with? To the LEP I am just like another guy, and other males are scared of a female with a gun.  
  
Fouly: (who really doesn't care) why not Trouble he likes you?  
  
Holly: yeah but he is as vain as hell. In addition, his brother gets on under my skin.  
  
Chix: why not me (Chix just knocks him self out to save Holly the trouble)  
  
Artemis: what's wrong with her liking me. I love her  
  
Wolf: maybe the fact that when your old and wrinkly she will look like she dose now.  
  
Holly: no I wont I 'll look a bit older.  
  
Foaly: Holly he'l be dead before your 200,  
  
Butler: why can't you let them do what they want it's not like there getting married.  
  
Artemis:(kneeling on one nee) Holly will you marry me.  
  
Holly: no but we can still have sex like bunnies.  
  
Artemis: OK  
  
Chaos: this is starting to become like a some sort of soap.  
  
Wolf: who do will get shot.  
  
(Suddenly a figure runs out of the clearing)  
  
Lutefa: I CAN FLY!!! (Jumps and lands on his/her face) may be not? (Sees every one staring at him/her) helloo, good bye!!(Runs back into forest)  
  
Root; who the hell was that!!  
  
Wolf: one of the many strange people who live in The Wood. Or just some wiredo who wanted to be in this flick.  
  
Lutefa: IM IN THE FLICK!!! WOOOHOOO (runs into tree disconnecting the sun again every thing goes black)  
  
Root: Holly where are you? Get right here now!  
  
(Artemis and holly try to start off were they left it but Chix had other plans)  
  
Wolf: dame! Why cant any one appreciate all the work that I put in for the creation of this flick but noooo, all they do is BREAK EVERY THING! (Sun come back on)  
  
Root: were is She!  
  
(all eyes fall on not Artemis and Holly, but Artemis and CHIX!)  
  
Butler: er. sir?  
  
(Artemis realises who he is kissing, and so dose chix. Artemis run to bushes and starts to throw up in disgust and chix stands still in shock)  
  
Root: where's holly?(looks around and sees Holly in a lip lock with.)  
  
Artemis: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOthe only one I have ever loved!(Holly opens her eyes wondering how arty can talk as well as kiss to fine it was not artemis she was kissing but Foaly!)  
  
Holly: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Foaly: (smiling) gosh, captain I didn't know you felt that way.  
  
Holly: (having a nevus break down) I kissed a horse I. KISSED.A .HORSE!  
  
Artemis:(not in much better shape than Holly) AT LEASED YOU KISSED SOME ONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX I KISSED A SEX CRAZED PIXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Root: chix? CHIX? (Waves hand in front of chix's face)  
  
Chix: (looking at his hands) I thought that was Holly's gun. I grabbed his, his and. I enjoyed it (suddenly burst into tears) I ENJOYED IT NOOOOOOOOOOOO, MY GOD I'M GAY!!!!!!  
  
Artemis: (starts to feel sick and throws up again)  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
OK SORRY ITS SHORT BUT I HAVE HOME WORK. What do you think of this change of advents.  
  
I think that is what you meant slim frog well not the Chix being gay but the whole kissing thing with Arty and Chix.  
  
Well lutefa you wanted to be in the flick there you go if you don't like it then screw you I don't give a shit  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: isn't she sweet!!!! 


	12. Just getting along

To all my reviewers please, PLEASE, do not ask my bro to hit me if I don't write more every day, the word IF means nothing to him he will just hit me any way or he has hit me. I am still bleeding. Slime Frog I know you like my stuff but next time just threaten me. How I'm I to write my story with a broken arm.  
  
Thank you also to Holly B And thanks slime frog for being the first one to review my other story To be a Normal Teenager. I had another reviewer but he/she didn't pay any attention to it, just to my BAD spelling .I AM SORRY!!! TO BE ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS IN YOUR YEAR AND A GREAT SPELLER IS SOMETHING I CAN NOT DO!!!!!  
  
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Just getting along (awwwww)  
  
(Chix has found out he his gay and now, for some reason, every one is sitting around talking about their feelings,) A/N: I am going to have some fun with this)  
  
Chix: you know, being transported hear has made me realise a lot about myself.  
  
Holly: what, you mean you have finally got the idea that no female on or under the planet will want you.  
  
Chix: yes: and the fact that I'm a self centred prick, with no life, and no actual point of being. (Every one stars in shock at the fact that Chix had said what they all thought of him. And the fact that he sounded like he had something between his ears other than moss and dead flies)  
  
Root: I never thought I'd see the day when Chix Veritable would say something meaningful, but then again I never thought I would be stuck in a forest were a sun that short circuits, with two demons, Fowl and a giant: and look were I am!  
  
Holly: being here has made me realise my true feelings for Arty.  
  
Artemis: Oh, Holly  
  
Holly: Oh, Arteims (start kissing) (Root clears throughout)  
  
Artemis: (turning pink, or may be even blue that's the problem when your colour blind) Ah..er sorry got a little carried away.  
  
Fouly: you know being hear has also made my feeling clear about Holly, now I know why I have always liked the only female LEP.  
  
Artimis: she's mine you hear! Mine, mine, MINE!!!!  
  
Foaly: as a friend that's all. my feelings for her as a f,r,i,e,n,d.  
  
Artemis: Oh.(looks sheepish) sorry. Being here I have discovered a new meaning to life  
  
Butler: and what is that?  
  
Artimis: that I should never go to bed in my boxers in-case I get transported in to a strange forest and that ALL PEOPLE NAMED MARY-SUE SHOULD DIE, BY BEING PELTED WITH CAT SHIT!!!!  
  
Chix: that is so true.  
  
(Root suddenly bursts into tears and sobs loudly)  
  
Chaos: what's wrong with blubber but?  
  
Root: my mother died from being pelted by cat poo, she was the only one who ever loved me. I was a troubled child no one ever liked me in school calling me fatty and making beeping noises whenever I moved backwards.  
  
Foaly: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep  
  
Root: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Chaos suddenly climes a tree)  
  
Wolf: what are you doing you wanker?!  
  
Chaos: if he goes on like that this place will flood again. My rubber pants won't last if you put another 10,000,000 volts through them!  
  
Chix: that is so true. (holly edges away from Chix,.he smelled like cheesy banananananananananNANANANANANANS)  
  
Foaly: I'll save you!(pulls a fish bowl from no were and shoves it onto Beet Roots head. It fills very quickly) he's turning blue.  
  
Butler: (singing) "I've got the blueees" "I've got the blue swaude shoes" (Butler knocks into Root breaking the fish bowl)  
  
Root: (back to his normal self) YOU STUPID PONY YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!  
  
Artemis: I think that was the idea.  
  
Chix: that is so true.  
  
Chaos:(down from the tree) going back to the conversion about our feelings, I think being with you guys has made Wolf find her feminine side.  
  
Wolf: WHAT? Holly: Wait did you just say 'her'! Wolfs a girl!  
  
Chaos: yeah, isn't it obvious.  
  
Artemis and Co.:NO!!  
  
Wolf: what was the point of telling them.  
  
Chaos: Well you do seem more feminine.  
  
Foaly: that's him. I mean her feminine?, What's she like when he, she's normal.  
  
Wolf: (angry) I am not feminine, why do you have to tell them. People are scared of short demons boys not girls!  
  
Chix: that is so true.  
  
Root: if your not feminine then doses that mean you like other girls?  
  
Wolf: WHAT!! NO I AM NOT A LEZ! I JUST DON'T LIKE MAKE UP, DRESSES, OR PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chix: that is so true.  
  
Holly; what do you look like with out the hood.  
  
Wolf: none of you damn bissiness.  
  
Chaos: you know some times I think you a lez when you hang out with me n' the guys you act like one of us.  
  
Wolf: (glowing red) I.AM.. NOT.A.LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos:(smiling evilly) prove it.  
  
Wolf: prove it! OK I will prove it!! (Wolf strolls over to Artemis and, before he or Holly could do ant thing, kisses him full on the lips tong and all)  
  
Wolf: that enough proof for ya!  
  
Artemis: (a bit dazed and out of breath) I am having a good day!  
  
Holly:(pouting) Hay!  
  
Chix: that is so true.  
  
Wolf: Great I kissed a pale genus who looks like a vampire.  
  
Chaos: hay that reminds me, you onces kissed a vampire, was he better Arty.  
  
Wolf: cant remember the vamp kissed me I broke his hart.  
  
Foaly: how?  
  
Wolf: (evil grin returning) by running a stack throw it!  
  
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111  
  
Sorry that took so long homework plus other story equals almost no time. But its done and now the whole world knows I'm a girl. Why did I kiss Fowl you ask? I am still trying to work that out for my self.  
  
Chaos: (singing) LOVE IS IN THE AIR. DODODDDODODODODO LOVE IS THEE AIR (tone of bricks fall on chaos)  
  
One I don't fall in love with story characters  
  
Two if I did it wouldn't be with pale geniuses.  
  
And three I AM NOT A LEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: OK so you don't like Artemis but you do like Aragon from lord of the rings.  
  
I'll stop this there this could go on all night  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( 


	13. lets all sing

Slime frog if you were not my no. 1 reviewer you would be wolf meet! I am not a lez that was put in for comedy so SHUT UP AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT FELT GOOD!  
  
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Lets all Sing kayoky  
  
(Lets review what happened last time on What The Hell, shale we? Every one is going all mushy, chix is gay, Holly, and Arty wont stop kissing, Roots getting all emotional, and I kissed Arty to prove I was not a lez. Now I feel sick so let's get on with it. First with my favourite Christmas carol)  
  
('Deck the hall with bows of holly' with a twist.)  
  
Chaos: (singing) "Deck the halls with Gas-a-leean, fa lalalalaaa lalala!"  
  
"Blow you house the smith-er-reens, Fa lalalaa lalala!"  
  
"Burn you school house down to ashes, Fa lalalalaa lalala lalala"  
  
"Arnt you glad I plat with mach-es, Fa lalalaa la la la"  
  
Everyone:(singing second verse) "People Buring in the fire, Fa lalalaa la la la"  
  
"Lets throw in another ti-re, Fa lalalaa la la la"  
  
"Molten lava, scolding ashes, Fa lalala lalaa la la la."  
  
"Arnt you glad I play with Mach-es, FA LALALA LA LA LLAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
Artemis: how did we all know the words  
  
Root: beets me.  
  
Butler; why were we singing in the first place?  
  
Chaos: cos. that is what we are going to do in flick.  
  
Butler: oh. I feel pretty all so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay!  
  
Arty: what?! I didn't know you were gay!  
  
Butler: (blushing) I'm not. My mouth just started to sing. (Everyone terns to Wolf who was smiling evilly)  
  
Wolf: I thought it would be fun to make this a musical.  
  
Everyone:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Chix: That is so true, Oops I did it again (suddenly starts dancing) oops I did it again!  
  
I played with your hart, got lost in the game, ooo you think I'm in love  
  
That I'm sent from abooooove, I'm not that Flatulent.anymore!  
  
Holly: OK that was wrong, Don't you think Arty(looks around) Arty? (Finds Artemis dressed in a tux with a microphone, lights dim)  
  
Artemis: (singing slow)  
Folks say that you  
Found someone new  
To do all the thing I used to do for you  
Just call my name  
I'm not ashamed  
I'll come running back to you  
  
Hooohooo  
  
Can't sleep at night Can't eat a bit When you were mine I didn't treat you right Just call my name I know, I know I'm not ashamed I'll come running back to youuuuu.  
  
(holly runs to Artemis and starts to kiss him for the romantic very dated song he just sang)  
  
Holly: that was so beautiful wasn't it.(turns to look at everyone their all asleep with boredom) (now starts to sing to Artemis)  
  
If you see me walking down the street Staring at the sky Dragging my two feet You just pass me by It still makes cry But you can make me whole again  
  
If you see me with another man Laughing and joking Doing what I can I won't put you down Cos. I want you around You van make me whole again  
  
Looking back on when we first met I can not escape and I cannot forget Baby you the one  
  
You still tern me on You can make whole again.  
  
Chaos: will the torture never end, PLEASE SOMEONE SING SOME THING GOOD!!!!  
  
Wolf: well I cant make them stop singing  
  
Butler: why?  
  
Wolf: because I cant think of any thing.  
  
(Fouly starts to chew loudly on a carrot)  
  
Root; why do you always have to eat carrots they are so annoying  
  
Foaly: it's a habit  
  
Root then break it!  
  
Foaly: (wearing a T-shirt and baggy trousers with four legs now singing/loudly)  
  
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR OR WHY I HAVE TO SCREAM"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW WHY I INSTIGATE AND SAY THINGS I DON'T MEAN"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT THIS WAY I KNOW ITS NOT ALL RIGHT"  
  
"SO I'M BBBBRRRREAKING THE HHHHBBBIT,"  
  
"I'M BBBBRRRAKING THE HHHHBBBIT,"  
  
"TONIGHT!"  
  
Choas: finally something good  
  
Root: I think my eardrums burst. don't worry they're healing ( blue sparks fly around roots ears)  
  
(suddenly lutafa runs out of the trees again, and then runs around the clearing)  
  
Root:(singing)  
  
There she goes  
  
There she goes again Racing through my brain  
  
And I just can't contain  
  
This feeling like the rain  
  
There she Jose again Waltzing through my brain And I just can't contain This feeling lake the rain  
  
(Wolf trying to block out the horrible noise makes it rain on Root)  
  
Wolf: is that felling like the rain enough for you SHUT UP YOU PILE OF PINK SHIT!!!!! (Lutafa goes back into the forest)  
  
(Suddenl every one hears a ghostly voice)  
  
gostly voice: woooooooooo I want..  
  
Holly: (sceared) you want what?  
  
Ghostly voice: I want.  
  
Artimis; a car?  
  
Foaly: a girlfriend?  
  
Root: a fluffy bunny?  
  
Butler: a body to go with the voice?  
  
Wolf: cheese?  
  
Ghostly voice: yes, I want cheese  
  
Chaos: are you a gost?  
  
Everyone starts singing: (lights go out except a spot light on our little grope of singer, including Wolf and Chaos)  
  
Here in the darkness  
  
Oh there are so many shades Shadows burn like faded flames And die into the night, ooh and fly Up so high, ooh  
  
Are you a ghost? Or are you alive?(ooh,ooh) Would you be here for me Be for me ,be for me now Imagination Or are for real? Just give me a sine, and I'll know (sign)  
  
Cool wind is blowing Fingers through hair Standing in a empty room, alone It feels like you're there Ooh, alone I know you there  
  
Are you a ghost? Or are you alive?(ooh,ooh) Would you be here for me Be for me, be for me now Imagination Or are for real? Just give me a sine and I'll know (sign)  
  
(Lights go up and there standing in front of the singers was Bob the Cheese Guy)  
  
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
You know? Its amazing what you can find on the Internet the word to song you never even herd of or you have .  
  
so what did you think of my musical strange, crap ,a pile of bollix  
  
Choas:Lalalalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalal I CAN SING  
  
Wolf: like a duck who swallow toilet cleaner.  
  
Chaos; hay!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	14. bROTHER

LALALALLALALALALALAAAAAAA!!!!! Don't worry the song chapter is over and done with so take ear plugs out please. I am really hyper today why??????? COFFEE, COCA COLA, AND LOTS OF SUGAR!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: guns guns guns guns guns guns guns guns gu.(hit on the head with gient coffee bean)  
  
Chaos: I don't need coffee, sugar are nasty drugs cos I am al ways HYPER MUUHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Chaos falls over unconscious)  
  
That get rid of one problem WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'll shut up now.  
  
Disclaimer: I own Bob the Cheese guy, his twin Rob Coffee guy, me Wolf , Chaos, Fat b(now Mary-sue) and any one who isn't a book character or some wired-o who wanted to be in What The Hell? 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 5555555  
  
I don't know.  
  
Every one: (staring at Bob CG) aren't you dead?  
  
Bob: no. Just whet to the moon. IT IS MADE OF CHEESE! It was delicious, I even found my long lost twin Rob the Coffee guy.  
  
Holly: he had a brother.  
  
Foaly: who new.  
  
Wolf: me (they turn to wolf confused) I read minds remember. God you have the memory of a spud with 5 goblins tided to it which sang the song of shit backward wearing thongs!  
  
Root: WHAT?  
  
Wolf: I don't know just made it up (pulls out chain saw) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Root: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (runs away as wolf chases him round and round the clearing with the loudly reving chain saw laughing madly)  
  
Wolf: do not be afraid. BE PETRIFIED!!!  
  
Butler: why is Chaos unconscious. (Kicks chaos, to find he doesn't wake up so he kicks him again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again,)  
  
Butler: this is fun!  
  
Root: hay let me try  
  
Foaly: Make some room for me  
  
Holly+Arty: (stopped kissing for a while) and us.  
  
Chaos: zzzzzzzz  
  
Wolf: (turns off the chain saw) he's asleep god I cant believe it. don't hog all the fun let me kick him (every one gathers round Chaos and kicks him)  
  
Bob CG: hay are you even listening to me?!  
  
Holly; no, want to kick the stupid git?  
  
(A/N sorry if I am making fun of gay people. This is just for comedy I know your not all like these two you are about to read)  
  
Chix: you know bob I never noticed before how lovely and yellow your eyes are(flutters eyelashes)  
  
Bob CG: (Blushes) oh thanks and I just loove what you did with your hair.  
  
Chix; wow that is like kind of you,, you are just like so sweet.  
  
Bob: did you know I'm gay?  
  
Chix: oh-my-gosh no I didn't. God so I'm I. Do you want to shopping some time.  
  
Bob: yeah I saw this really cut block of cheese at the supermarket the other day, its to die for, I just have to bye it.  
  
Holly: ok now they are really freaking me out.  
  
Butler: I think they will make a cute couple.  
  
Chaos: (finally wakes up) god why do I hurt all over? I feel like an elephant wearing football boot has kicked me a thousand times.  
  
Foaly: to be more exact you have been kicked by a giant man, a genius, two fairies, a centaur, and a wolf has kicked you a thousand times.  
  
Chaos: O.hay! You are all basterds and should die a slow painful. coffee?  
  
Wolf: you are threatening us with coffee? God bro. You are losing you touch.  
  
Chaos: (glares at wolf) no I smell coffee stupid.  
  
Rob coffee guy: (runs out of forest) COFFEE, COFFEE I REALLY LIKE COFFEE (sees Bob) Bob!  
  
Bob: Rob!  
  
Rob: Bob!  
  
Bob: Rob!  
  
Rob: Bob!  
  
ALL: JUST GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Bob+Rob: brother! (they hug each other)  
  
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000 I am really sorry this is short and I have taken so much time but it the damn writers block my normal flow of strange ideas are gone and its giving me a headache arrrr (hits head repeatedly agent wall)  
  
By the way any one like Gundam Wing? I really like gundam, and as its not on TV because I only have 4 channels I just make the models and search the web. Any way I love Duo he is so cool! I mostly like him because he considers him self as the god of death and yet he dresses like a priest. Heero Yuys not bad but the one think that always confuses me is hat he it always wearing tight biker shots and yet he always pulls out large guns .From were?  
  
God sorry I'm going in a bit and probably most of you don't have a clue what I'm going on about.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 


	15. Knickers!

Make up your own bloody title!  
  
HIDE-HAI, HIDE bugger off before I shoot you in the arse MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!!! Hello thy few who read this pile of shit. I am as board as Hell. Hay has any of you seen Matrix Reloaded? it is brilliant!!!! though I think they could Have done with out all the sex. Yes all very educational but I would just prefer to watch Neo shoot the hell out of MR SMITH, the large forehanded prick who loves to say " hello.Mr. Andison". ARRRRRRR brother with BB GUN!!!  
  
Chaos: I love to shoot my self in the leg it feel so good!!! That's normal right??! I WANT TO BE IN THE MATRIX.  
  
Wolf: Tigers doing a play called the Fake-trix why don't you ask to be in that?  
  
Root; can I be in? it I want to be the heroin Binitty.  
  
Chaos: (jumping away from root) Arrrrrr!!! how the hell is he hear in real life he's only in the story.  
  
Wolf: idiot we are in the story.  
  
Chaos: but were are the numbers you usually put up to separate your comments?  
  
Wolf: up you arse.  
  
Chaos: Oh. that explains it.  
  
Wolf:(to Holly) can you tell the reviewers the title?.  
  
Holly: looks above to see what the title is) Make up your own bloody title. Oh very nice to someone you want to review you.  
  
Artemis: I think I'll call it Artemis the brave.  
  
Foaly: and long-winded. How about Foulys great escape from the mad raving loons.  
  
Wolf: (grinning wolfishly) I'll like to see you try (large ball of flame appear in wolfs hand) actually I insist.  
  
Foaly: (sits down in order to hide one large target 'his arse' from Wolf) you know? I like it hear I could stay forever.  
  
Chaos: lets make a mock version of Matrix Reloaded I'm bored and we need something to do theses poor defenceless story characters.(smiles evilly)  
  
Wolf: Fine with me. (Turns to the grope of now terrified mix of fairies and mud men) now lets see who's going to be who, Ha! (Points to Artemis) you shall be Meow!(Artemis cloths change to all black will a log Matrix coat and sun glasses)  
  
Artemis: cool, hay isn't the name Neo not Meow?  
  
Wolf: yeah, you going to argue with me and get you manhood cut off, or are you going to shut up and keep it.  
  
Artemis:(grabbing crotch to make shur it's still there) shutting up.  
  
(A/N hears just a question to all the males that read this. Why do males always seem to have their hand on their crotch or down their pants? Are they afraid something going to drop off or something? Just a question that bothers my strange deluged mind.) Butler: can you please stop talking to your self about random stuff. First it was you raving on about soaps now men's habits cant you be normal (butler has a mental break down and has now tucked himself into a ball rocking back and fourth with his thumb in his mouth). There is no place like home, There is no place like home, There is no place like home!  
  
Chaos; he has serious mental problems, great now he fits right in with the rest of us.  
  
Wolf: Holly, you of course are going to be Binitty (Holly's LEP uniform is replaced with a black cat suit)  
  
Root: I wanted to be Binitty,(starts to pout and stamp his feet) its not fair she always gets to play the heroin  
  
Chaos: that might be because she's the only girl hear other that Wolf, and I think Arnold Swataneger (that's spelt wrong I know) is more feminine  
  
Wolf: and what's wrong with that? (Looks at root) lets see what can a over eating slow fairy be. (Clicks fingers and Root is know in a very smart white suit with his hair gelled back)  
  
Root: who the hell am I?  
  
Chaos: the evil son of a bitch program Merovinegar (Merovingian for those that have not seen the film.)  
  
Wolf: (to Chix) you shall be Persemobile (Persephone) Merovinegar's wife.  
  
Chix: (gins flirtatiously at Root) my pleasure. (Root cringes)  
  
Foaly: why can chix be a female character and root can't?  
  
Wolf: (smiles evilly as she brining the ball of flame back) you arguing with me please say you are?  
  
Foaly: (sits down again) no nonononononononnnnnoooooo. Er.who I'm I?  
  
Wolf: Sink (link) of course. ( wolf clicks fingers and foalys tale was now a mass of small braids. And was wearing a ripped woolly jumper.)  
  
Foaly: hay! Why do I get this crappy old thing?  
  
Chaos: because link is not part of the matrix so he gets normal non-matrix cloths.  
  
Artemis/ meow: whose Butler going to be (he pointed to the large muttering quivering lump that was butler).  
  
Wolf: Morphine  
  
Chaos: stop right their we have swearing and mentioned sex in this but not drugs!  
  
Wolf: (shakes her head) you twat! Butler is Morphine, Morphius! Get with the program  
  
Holly/ binitty: or on the gravy train  
  
Artemis/meow; that for money  
  
Holly: Oh (they start kissing for no apparent reason)  
  
Bob CG: hay you forgot about us  
  
Rob CG: yeah who are we the twins?  
  
Choas: no  
  
Bob+Rob: Why not we're the only twins here?!  
  
Wolf: Yeah but me and Chaos are going to be the twins with there posh English accents.  
  
Root/ meroviniger; your not twins.  
  
Chaos; but it is OUR story.  
  
Root/ merovinigar: (so terrified he loses control of his blader) ekk  
  
Holly/ binitty: (stops kissing) ewwwwwwwww  
  
Foal/sink: arwww did little rooty wet his knickers  
  
All: (gasp with shock)  
  
Foaly/sink: what?  
  
Chaos: you said the forbidden word  
  
Foaly: do you meen Knickers? (wolf hits him over the head with frying pan)  
  
Wolf: wash your mouth out with mud and pisss.  
  
Foaly/sink: what is rong with the K word. You swear all the time.  
  
(suddenly one of the many weird people of the forest jumps out screming)  
  
weirdo: who said the forbidden word? (looks around at our characters)you shall all die by OLD KNICKERS MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (it starts to rain old knickers)  
  
Holly/binitty: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
  
Chaos: (under large umbrella with wolf as the rest run about screaming trying to avoid the falling smelly granny knickers) we really need to sort out the people in that forest.  
  
Wolf: I know they're living in there for free we need to charge them.  
  
3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333344444444 44444444444444  
  
god sorry this took so long bloody home work and coughing fits . no more school, half term YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
I'M AM GOING THE SLEEP FOR THE WHOLE WEEK GOOOOOOD NIGHT OR DAY BIIIII!!!!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Persephone  
  
Merovingian 


	16. Halloween

I know this chapter was going to be a make fun of the of the Matrix but as its Halloween I thought I will make it a Halloween special!!!! MUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.  
  
I hope your not squeamish, actually I hope your are I love to scare the hell out of some body. This is going to be fun! I'm going to be a werewolf  
  
Chaos: oh theirs a surprise. 6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 Happy Halloween!!  
  
Artemis: (looks around at every one) wears our matrix clothing gone?  
  
Wolf: we're doing that next chapter, this is going to a special!  
  
Butler: why?  
  
Chaos: ITS HALLOWEEN MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.(puff of smoke surrounds chaos) (smoke clears and chaos is dressed as a vampire)  
  
Holly: (to wolf) what are you going to be?  
  
Wolf: werewolf of course, I have already said above!!! (Wolfs clock falls down to reveal a large grey/black wolf on all fours)  
  
Holly: awwwwww so cute. Is that why they call you wolf? You're a wolf really under the cloak.  
  
Wolf: (extremely pissed off) I AM NOT CUTE! Fuck the spell went wrong now I'm stuck like this the entire chapter (looks at paws with long sharp claws and grins wolfishly) well it might not be that bad.  
  
Chaos: (gos up behind Chix) I vant to fuck your buuut!!!  
  
All:WHAT???????!!!!  
  
Chix: OK  
  
Wolf: (really) I new it you are gay ha!  
  
Chaos: (takes out fangs) ahh sorry said that wrong you try and talk with theses in you mouth .  
  
Foaly: Why don't you just grow your own? wolf changed into a, well, a wolf, so cant you at least grow your own fangs?  
  
Chaos: (shrugs) ok (chaos's teeth grow sharp and long) now lets see if I can d this right. (sneaks up on Chix again) I vant to suck your blood!!!! Chix: (runs away screaming) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Chaos: yay it worked( jumps up and down) owww!  
  
Butler: what's wrong?  
  
Chaos: bit my lip. I feel dizzy (chaos faints)  
  
Holly: what's wrong with him? Can we kick his again.  
  
Wolf: he bit him self with vampire teeth and is becoming a vampire.  
  
Bob: isn't he already one?  
  
Wolf: (scratches dog like) yeah so he just going to faint that's all, and yeah kick him all you want. (every one gathers round again to kick chaos)  
  
Chaos: (eyes fly open and sits up rigidly arms stretched like a zombie) I LIVEEEE!!!!!!!!  
  
Artemis: actually as you're a vamp don't you mean, I DIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Chaos: do you really want to lose your manhood, if you argue with us you will (Artemis grabs his crotch again)  
  
Root: so what are you going to do as its Halloween.  
  
Wolf:(looking behind at her tail) cool I have a tail(watches as it waves about)  
  
(root clears his throughout)  
  
Wolf: hu? Oh well first we're going to make it spooky (sun is replaced with a full moon and cobwebs, spiders and bats appear in the trees, Artemis and co.' gathers to gather around, shacking with fear) . Light a fire so we can see (fire appears in the middle of the clearing casting a ery glow)  
  
Chaos: and then were going to dress you all up in costumes!  
  
All:WHAT????  
  
Wolf: it is Halloween remember. Costumes candy, trick or treat smell my feet give me something good to eat.  
  
Rob: so its going to be like a party?  
  
Chaos: I didn't think of that lets invite the strange people from the forest!!!  
  
Wolf: first we need to get them into costumes. Chaos: I've got the perfect thing for butler.  
  
Butler: a butler suit?  
  
Chaos: no that's boring and not funny,(chaos clicks his fingers) that's funny.  
  
(Butler is now wearing a pink fluffy bunny costume, every one bursts out laughing)  
  
Wolf: (turns to root) I shall make you the most terrifying thing to walk the planet(wolf tries to click her fingers then remembers she now has paws ) shit! (clicks her claws)  
  
All;(but root)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
Root: what? (looks down at him self to find he's dressed as the purple telly tubby TINKY WINKY) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(loses control of his bladder again)  
  
Holly: Haaa he wet his kni.(foaly slaps his fury hand over hollys mouth)  
  
Foaly: don't say it you twat!!!  
  
Artemis: what knickers?  
  
All:nooooooooooooooooooooo (weirdo runs out off the forest again and makes it rain knickers again)  
  
Wolf: she is not coming to the party.  
  
(stops raining knickers)  
  
Chaos: back to the costumes, lets see bob rob you can both be cheese and coffee (bob now dressed like a large yellow wedge off cheese and rob as a coffee bean)  
  
Wolf: Artemis lets make you a god(smoke surrounds Arty).  
  
Artemis: (smoke clears) yeah I'm the all mighty god ZUSE!!!!(every one starts to giggle) what?  
  
Foally: I don't think zuse had breasts.(artemis looks dow at his toga to find two large bulges agents his chest)  
  
Wolf: or should I say goddess, your Artemis goddess of the hunt. And thouse things are attached you know(tries not to laugh as Artemis tries to pull them off)  
  
Holly: you means you've turned him into a GIRL my boy friend a GIRL  
  
Chaos: more or less(turns to Arty) told you we will get rid of your manhood.  
  
Artemis: (drops to his knees)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Chaos: I've got the perfect thing for pony boy (large top half of a horse costume falls onto Foalys head) you are now a horse.  
  
Foaly: god this thing stinks and my arms are trapped I cant get it off.  
  
Wolf: that's the idea. now Holly and Chix what shale you guys be, we have a telly tubby, pink bunny, cheese, coffee, and a goddess. Aha! (in a puff of smoke Chix's clothes changed for a neon pink boob choob, fish net tights, stilettos, and a mini skirt and Holly was dressed in loose black trousers and shirt with a white dog collar and a gold cross around her neck holding a bible) I've all ways wanted to go to a tarts and vicars party!  
  
(chaos looks at his watch)  
  
Chaos: er wolf?  
  
Wolf: what cant you see I'm busy dressing these people like idiots!  
  
Chaos: yes but you been taking to long that its no longer Halloween.  
  
Wolf: shit.  
  
Artemis: can you please change me back I feel so naked in this toga and thease thing are so big I cant see my feet(arty signalled to his/her chest area)  
  
Chix: if I wasn't gay I would say you are the sexiest thing on earth now you're a girl, but as I'm gay, I like you better male.  
  
Holly: HE'S MINE!!!  
  
Root: this is just a question but is tinky winky male?  
  
Chaos: think so why?  
  
Root: then why dose a red purse come with this costume?  
  
Wolf: cos' they want to make gayness open to children at a young age.  
  
Foaly: (still trying to pull off the horse head and blindly waks into tree) OWW! (foaly falls back onto the fire)  
  
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god this took way to long to do! Oh well at least its done though very out of date bay be I should start my Christmas one now so I might be on time. Naaa I want to get on with the Faketrix DIE YOU ROBOT SCUMM ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	17. GESS WHO'S BACK!

I'M BAACK!!!! Shit how long has it been seance I've updated. The reasons for it was that I was banned from writing, you know how parents are one swear word and your toast. I'm sick today and my parents are both at work so I can do what the hell I want (although I fell like hell at the moment) Thanks to those who have reviewed since my lack of updating  
  
I might not be doing the Matrix thing sorry but its been so long I lost the plot  
  
Chaos: you never had it in the first place. 55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555  
  
GESS WHO'S BACK!!  
  
Artemis: finally I'm male again how long have we been stuck like that!!!  
  
Foaly: (looks at watch) DAMN! 4 months!!! We've missed Christmas.(foally breaks down into tears.) waaaaaaaaa.. I really want to get that deluxe mega 5times bigger Carrot for Christmas.  
  
Holly: (rounds angrily onto wolf and chaos) Why the hell do you start this thing up again NOW.  
  
Wolf: hay don't blame me I've been bad from writing that's why.  
  
Chix: you know I was kinda getting use to the fishnets.  
  
Root: (bursts out in tears) thank frond the evil telly tubby costume is gone.  
  
Butler: (looks round) were did bob and rob go?  
  
(Very large burp comes from wolf, every one looks at her)  
  
Wolf: (breath smells of cheese) what? Hey what do you expect I was a wolf and I was hungry? However, I only ate bob, coffee makes me hyperactive.  
  
Chaos:(running round madly) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE COFFEEEEEE!!!!!!! HYPER HYPER HYPERRRRRR!!!!!!  
  
Artemis: I think we know were robs gone.  
  
Foally: so what do we do know? (holly and Artemis grin and start making out again) why do I ask.  
  
Wolf: (large club in hand and an unconsuse Chaos on the ground) lets play a game. Errrr how about truth or dare?  
  
(every one looks at each outher wondering what havoc will happen if they do)  
  
Wolf: (grinning evily) I'm sorry did that sound like a question (large ball of flams apere in her right hand) I think I ment it a an order!  
  
All: yes well all play truth or dare.  
  
Chaos: (getting off the floor) god I needed that, I ll go first. (looks around for first victim) Butler truth or dare?!  
  
Butler: Dare  
  
Chaos: I dare you to kick Artemis realy hard.  
  
Artemis: he wont do that he's my body.. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh( screams in pain as butlers foot contect with his but)  
  
Butler: (trying to hide his grin) sorry sir.  
  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
  
short I know but I want to work on my other story. Give me ideas for dares or truths please.  
  
And I will be updating soon you cant get rid og me Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (starts coughing vilotly) shit remind me not to laugh evily when having a cold  
  
Please REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	18. Artemis Fowl meet Heero yui

Yay I'm popular if some one tolled me they liked this flick so much I would have got round my parents quicker! Sorry for making you wait again  
  
Disclaimer: I know I don't usually do these but I found one bitch used one of MY characters!!! All of the characters from Artemis fowl and gundam wing (thought I'll have a little fun with the Gundam wing -boys who arnt mine, sob() but wolf, chaos, and BOB THE CHEESE GUY AND ROB THE COFFEE GUY ARE MINE YOU HEAR!!!!  
  
GOD THIS PERSON THOUGHT SHE/HE COULD JUST TAKE THEIR NAMES AND SWICH IT A BIT CALLING HER/HIS GUY BOB THE COFFEE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Sorry for the rant I'l get on with it now  
  
And to people who might think they could steel any other of my characters will be stomped on with my gundam!! (wolf laughing manacly as she stomps about in the mobile suit she some how got) Muhahahahahahaha!!  
  
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 ARTEMIS FOWL MEETS HEERO YUY  
  
Artemis: (just been kicked by butler) IF WE GET OUT OF HEAR YOUR BOUNCE IS NON-EXISTENT!!!!  
  
Butler: it was a dare I had too.  
  
Artemis: in what rule book is that in!  
  
Chaos: (pulls large book of rules from his cloak and looks through it) errrr... aha! right hear page 23453224 section 45 if you do not do the dare or answer the truth questions the two maniacs in black robs are allowed to beet you senseless with rubber chicks!  
  
Root: that's not fair what about when you two are dared!  
  
Wolf: we'll beat our selves or each other, happy?  
  
Holly: whose turn is it?  
  
Chaos: (looks in book) Artemis's.  
  
Artemis: Muhahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Know you shall pay for the torture you put me through! I know Wol... (arty is cut of by a large metal foot landing scant inches in front of him.) Ahhhhhh  
  
Foally: (looking dsazeled by the gundam that almost squashed arty) Humans made that?!  
  
Wolf: its amazing what a few funny looking scientist can do.  
  
(A/N: sorry to people who don't know what gundam wing is it's a Japanese anima series that me and my friends are obsessed with hopefully you'll pick it up.)  
  
Artemis: (slightly annoyed at almost being a pancake) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING!!!????  
  
Chaos: if you read the script you would know, it's a gundan, Wing Zero if I'm not mistaken. (suddenly a hatch opened in the chest and a 15 year old boy jumped out of it even though the drop was about 30 feet)  
  
Heero: (wearing his usual green tank top, black spandex shorts his deep Persian blue eyes blazing) WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? (some how pulls a hand gun from his spandex and points it as Artemis as he was closest) YOU'VE SEEN MY GUNDAM YOU MUST DIE!!!  
  
Butler: NOOOOOOO (tries to tackle the stranger but gets easily thrown by him? What the? How the hell did you do that?  
  
Heero: I am genetically modified, I am heero yui the PERFECT SOLDER!!!!  
  
annoying high pitched voice: HHHHEEEEEEEEERRRO!.... OH HEERO MY DARLING WERE ARE YOUUUUU!!  
  
Heero: (he paled and dropped his gun in pure terror) OHHH NOOOOOO!, not her please not her! (looks wildly around and looks at wolf) hide me please  
  
Annoying high pitched voice: WERE ARE YOU SNOKKUMS YOU DON'T MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL KILL ME THAT MEANS YOU LIKE ME AND WE WILL GET MARRED AND HAVE 2345263578434 BAYBES. (heero turned green)  
  
Heero: oh god she getting closer! Hide me now!  
  
Wolf: (looking a bit apprehensive) ok errr you better close your eyes (suddenly there was a big flash and every one was blinded)  
  
(the moment everyone's vision cleared a 15 year old girl wearing nothing but pink with long blond hair)  
  
Relena: HEERO MY LOVE I'VE..... (looks around she was shore she had located him on her 'stalker 4000') heero?(heero's no were to be seen all she sees is a very odd assortment of people she walks up to the nearest one who was holding something under her cloak) err excuse me  
  
Wolf: (tyring not to puke at the site of so much pink it wasn't natural!) yes?  
  
Relena: have you seen my hubby heero I know he's hear some were Chaos: nope no heroes hear this is a villains convention! (pretends to coff) coff*bitch*coff  
  
Relaen: (not noticing the insult) oh? (cups her hands around her mouth) HEEEEEEEROOO OH HEEEEERO COME HERE MY DARLING MY LOVEY KIN'S HHEEEE....  
  
Holly: (neutron 2000 in hand) SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! ( madly shoots at rleana)  
  
Rlaena: AHHHHHHHHH Heero help me a manic midget is shooting at me (runs away into the forest)  
  
Root: thank froud! I was running out of magic  
  
Arty: why were you using it in the first place.  
  
Root: her voice kept breaking my ear drums.  
  
Foally: Hay what did you do with spandex boy?  
  
Wolf: (looking a bit sheepish) errrr... well There's one problem with that. For some unknown reason my magic doesn't woke well on Japanese anima caricatures. (takes out what she was hiding in her cloak)  
  
All: GASP!!!!  
  
(heero, now only 30cm tall, had been turned into a chibi and was adorably cut!)  
  
Heero: (voice slightly higher than normal glares at them) what are you looking at?  
  
Holly: awwwwww he's so cut!!! (reaches out to pet heero) OW!!!! (Heero shot her in the hand with his mini little gun blue sparks start healing the tiny bullet wound)  
  
Heero: (looks at himself) what?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hay where's my gundam?  
  
Chaos: (voice coming from the speaks in the wing gundam as it fly's around maniacally in the sky) whoopee! This is fun!!! U-o (crashes into a aeroplane, the gundam's fine the plans a fiery wreck) oh well weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
  
Wolf: CHAOS YOU TWAT STOP JOY RIDING AND LET ME HAVE A GO!!!!  
  
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for thoughts who don't know what chibi means its when anima characters are drawn as these little cut children I cant help it even if I am a tom boy but the ARE cut!  
  
So what do you think I'll bring the other caricatures into it Oh and Relena is a girl who follows heero around even though he threatens her at gun point yes I know in the series she ends up being queen of the world but I still think heero should have killed her.  
  
SHE WILL DIE in this don't worry she's just one major marry-sue.  
  
Chaos: Chibi's are so cut, I am not gay!!!! Really I am not. ( I have a sword la lalaallalalalalala wooho de de de dooooo! Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Bye, the men with tazers and bloody white coats are chasing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	19. gundam boys meet me and my friends : :

Hello I'm back again and I got a friend!!! Hee hee no she is real. She shall be known as Water Dragon. And chaos as usaly is hear.  
  
Oh one reviewer was slightly pissed off at my comment in the last chapter were I said some one had stolen one of my characters. Apparently she had asked and she got it from neopets. So sorry if I caused any offence but fuck off to you too!!!!! (don't get lary!! geezus) and also I have got no clue about neopets I really don't see the point of it  
  
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G-boys come to meet me and my friends (or to the insane asylum runaways which ever you prefer)  
  
Heero: (doing his death glarer but at the moment was more cute that scary) turn me back now or omea o korosu!!!  
  
Warter Dragaon: what dose that mean.  
  
Every one: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH were did you come from!  
  
Water Dragon: the outer reaches of the far dimension.  
  
Holly: and where is that?  
  
Water Dragon: Hayling Island  
  
Wolf: Hi W.D what the hell are you doing here?  
  
Water Dragon: good question I don't know my self.  
  
Root: great another weirdo here to torture us  
  
Water Dragon: torture? COOL! I shall beat you with big long sticks of dynamite!  
  
Artemis: why are there bright lights coming towards us? (suddenly 4 gundams come down from the sky once again almost landing on Arty) STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: god they cant see me like this (hides in Wolfs clocks again)  
  
Wolf: hay get out of there! That tickles  
  
(4 boys jump out of the gundam's, one Chinese one, one with immensely long hair in a priests out-fit , one with a fringe that could pock someone's eye out and one blonde who looked a lot like a girl)  
  
Trowa: (gun pointed at every one) ok releases Heero and you OZ scum will not die.  
  
Duo: (also got a gun) are you sure they even OZ? And wouldn't Heero have kicked theses guys butts? Just look at them, a bunch of cult people, midgets, and a Horse.  
  
Wufei: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!  
  
Quatre: whats not?  
  
Wufie: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!  
  
Quatre: why do I bother asking?  
  
Chaos: (still in Heeros Gundam) if we were OZ wouldn't you be dead by now...weeeee look at me I can do a loop de loop.  
  
Heero: (inside wolf clock talking so only wolf can hear) get that kisama out of my gundam or you will die.  
  
Wolf: (looking as though she's talking to her self) can you get out (heero starts trying to hurt wolf) hay stop that, that tickles (wolf falls to the floor laughing, making the g-boys all look at her strangely). haaa haaa you little hheeee hee shit heee stop that hee haaah ahaaahahahahahahahaaa  
  
Duo: looking down at the laughing manic) what wrong with him.  
  
Water Dragon: (whos been drooling ever since duo dropped from his gundam runs at him like a mad fan girl) DUO!!!!! DUO DUO DUO DUO DUO DUO DUO DUOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Water Dragon lanches her self at poor duo)  
  
Duo: (being squeezed to death) help... mee. ...cant breath.  
  
Wufei: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!!  
  
Trowa: (trying in vain to pull the mad duo fan off duo) why do people always like duo no one ever is like that to me.  
  
Quatra: I like you trowa.(batts eye lashes lovingly)  
  
(suddenly a very small girl with brown hair comes running out of The woods and latches onto trowa)  
  
Kerry: TROWA TROWA TROWA TROWA TROWA TROWA!!!!!!  
  
Quatra: (seeing the green eyed monster, jealousy) get off MY Trowa!!!!!!!!!  
  
Green Eyed monster: who me?? What did I do??  
  
(Quatra faints)  
  
Trowa: QUATRE!!! (trys to pull the little girl who was still repeating his name off of himself) god now I know how Heero feels when releana comes along! Duo: ( how hes alive with no oxygen in his tightly compressed lungs is a miserty) you and me both!!!  
  
Wufie: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!! ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!!  
  
Foally: and we thoght it was a mad house before all thease freeks.  
  
Holly: well there all good looking freeks  
  
Artemis: hay your with me!!!  
  
(suddeny another girl comes running out of froest and laches on to Artemis)  
  
Emma: ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY ARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wufie: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!!!!  
  
Holly: your Damn right get off hIm you B-ach.!!!!!!  
  
(all the while wolf is still redered helpless by heero tickling her, chaos is in wing gundam, AND root has run to hide in a corner rocking backwards and forwards)  
  
Root: theres no place like home, theres no place like home......  
  
(and foally is secratly stealling parts from the fore other gundams)  
  
Foally: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777  
  
SOOOO DO YOU LIKE??? HU HU HU!!!  
  
Kerry and Emma will probably be annoyed with there part in this but its true!!! If trowa or arty showed up at there door stops Emma would probably ripe Artemis clothes off and ..... well you know just thinking of her doing that (shakes at the gross thought) that would scar me for life!!!! And Kerry she probably would just babble on no stop till hit over the head with a frying pan.  
  
Any way PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	20. cant think of title sorry my head hertss...

Hi back yse I know I took to long as usual, what do you expect Im a lazy arse!!  
  
Well my friends with me again yaaaaaaaa!!! So yes she will be helping me. (but not as obseesive over duo we need him alive)  
  
WD: (looks at wolf evily) grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  
  
Wolf: I said I was sorry  
  
WD:"............"  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: thank god that crazy girls off me (WD being restrained by root)  
  
WD: get of me you fat red vegetable!!!!  
  
Root: great why she still here?  
  
Wolf: coz shes bored as well as me and we got through our SATs , well I think we did  
  
WD: (fall to floor cluching head) NOOOOOO NEVER MENTION THAT EVIL WORD IN FRONT OF ME IF YOU VALUE YOU LIFE!!!!!!!!  
  
Emma: (getting off Artemis) what you mean Sats?  
  
(WD sends a ball of framing black and purple fire at Emma causing her pink cloths to catch alight)  
  
Emma: nooooooo my designer crap its being destroyed noooooooooo (running around in circles then is crushed by chaos finally landing heeros gundam)  
  
Chaos: who did I land on?  
  
Wolf: Emma!  
  
Chaos: thank god the evil one has been demised all praise me for I defeated the vile pink monstrosity.  
  
Holly: hay I wanted to kill her!  
  
WD: no I wanted to kill her!  
  
Holly: no I did!  
  
WD: I did.  
  
(big fight between holly and WD commences fire being shot by both all move away so they don't get caught in the cross fire)  
  
Trowa: is any one going to help me get this thing off me.  
  
Kerry: Im not a thing Im your future wife!!  
  
Quatra: that's it I SHALL KILL YOU ALLL ONLY PEACE WILL COME WHEN I KILL EVERY THING IN SIGHT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Wufie: ITS NOT JUSTICE!!  
  
Heero: (still a chibi) will you SHUT UP. (every one gose qiet and stared at mini heero poking his head out of wolfs cloak, holding a really large gun)  
  
Wolf: hay that's mine!!  
  
Duo: (busts out into laughter) Heeero....oh...my god...... you ....are so.... Tiny.......you ...look ...so ...cute!  
  
Wufie: : ITS NOT JUSTISE!! (heero shoots wufei splattering his branes all over Duo)  
  
Duo: awwww heero look at my out fit its ruined!!!!!  
  
Wufie Ghost: : ITS NOT JUSTISE!!  
  
Quatra: give me that the girl must DIE!!!!Hahahahahahahahahaha ( snatches gun form heero who pouts cutely and shoots Kerry in the head causing more brains to spatter all over duo)  
  
Duo: oh this is just not fair, oh my god is in my hair its, in my hair ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
  
Heero: oh shut up how can you call your self god of death if you cant hande a BIT OF BRAIN JUCE.  
  
Wufie Ghost: : ITS NOT JUSTISE!!  
  
Butler: dose any one know an exodist?  
  
Artemis: theres one in Athens hes the reason there taking so long with the olipice stadium zuze refuses to leave.  
  
ALL: oh..........  
  
(holly and WD walk over calmly, all turns roung to see the ditruction behinde them)  
  
Root: why the hell arnt eather of you dead.  
  
WD: we came the the conclusion that we both wanted to kill her ALL; DURRRRRR!!!  
  
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sorry it short and I know is kina shit but at the moment my minds a blur as well as my eyes all I can see is colured blobse so peases exuse spelling and all PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
